I left my body but could still feel through all my senses. My body was revolving in circles up and down, as if I have been put in a big round ball which has been thrown from an uphill. But to my surprise I couldn’t see any ball as such. I was trying to figure out where I am and what’s going on but soon I realized that all my efforts were of no use. Want to know why? The moment I thought of any particular location, I was in that location, so just couldn’t figure out where I was in the reality. As per Freud, dream material is built up from whatever you have seen or experienced in the past. It stays somewhere in your memory and your mind makes up a dream from it. But was this a dream or a reality? Because if it was a reality then I was dead and if I was dreaming, then I wanted to wake up at any cost. I even tried to kill myself in that dream, as that’s the best thing to wake you up, but it didn’t work. Woaahh! So much of consciousness that I tried killing myself in dream? And my body was still revolving and I was not feeling tired at all!? Was all this an indication of the fact that I am no more the owner of my body? If I was a soul now, then I wanted to see my dead body on the bed, where I slept last night.
I had this strong urge to have confirmation of the fact whether I was dead or dreaming. And just as I was thinking of locations and finding myself in those location on the very next moment, similarly, I thought of the God and God appeared to the left hand top side of my bedroom where I fell asleep. Yes! Left hand top side! Was he in the air? I don’t remember noticing his legs, but I do remember seeing his face and upper part of the body only. As soon as he appeared, I knew I was dead. But wait a second! Is he really a God or just another character in my dream? This could be answered if I could find out whether I was dead or dreaming!?
Who could have been a better person to answer this, than God himself?
Me – I want to see my dead body!
He – Why?
Me – I just want to confirm if I will ever see my parents again or not?
He – But you can see them now also! Just think about them and they will be there with you. Just as you thought about me and I am here.
Me – But that’s not the reality? It never happens like this in the real world. Maybe in reality they might come to know in the morning that I am dead.
He – So if you think that seeing them, as soon as you think of them, is not “reality”, then I am also not “real” and whatever I do to prove it to you will never be sufficient for you.
Me – Definitely I don’t know if you are real or not? But please let me see my dead body to make me believe in you.
He – Tell me why even you want to know what’s the reality? You always wanted to explore different places, live life at your own terms and have complete freedom. I am giving you a life where you can do whatever you want to. Now how does it matter if you are dead or dreaming? Just enjoy yourself! And regarding me – You never believed in me and you don’t even believe in me now.
I started to think on whatever he said and I didn’t realized that he disappeared..
As soon as I gathered myself back, I cried on top of my voice – I will start believing in you if I wake up tomorrow morning!
I am awake now!
What should I do?
Believe in him? It was a miracle which is incomprehensible by my rational mind. I am alive because I promised him and I should keep my promise.
Not to believe? If he was “real” then I would have been dead. At the end of the day he was just another character made up by my mind whose existence can’t be proved!